Disclosures
Everything else on this website is a joke. This page is not.
This site is satire
Rugpull Capital Partners does not exist. It is not a registered investment adviser, broker-dealer, bank, fund, or firm of any kind. It has no offices, no employees, no assets, and no clients, because it is not real.
“Dr. Rugpull” is a fictional character. He is not a physician and holds no medical, academic, or professional qualification. The title “Doctor” is part of the joke. Any medical-sounding language on this site is nonsense written for comic effect and must not be treated as health information.
Every name, quotation, testimonial, statistic, credential, date, performance figure, and ticker symbol on this website is invented. Nothing is a record of any real event, and any resemblance to a real person, company, or asset is unintended.
Not advice, and nothing for sale
Nothing on this website is financial, investment, trading, legal, tax, accounting, or medical advice, and none of it is a recommendation to buy, sell, or hold anything. Do not make a financial decision on the basis of anything you read here. If you want advice about your money, speak to a licensed professional in your jurisdiction.
This site does not offer or solicit any investment. There is no token, no coin, no NFT, no fund, no wallet address, no payment page, and no way to send anyone money. Nothing is being sold. If you ever encounter a page, message, or account that uses this name or this character to ask you for funds, seed phrases, wallet approvals, or personal information, it is not connected to this project and you should treat it as a scam.
The character on this site is written as a cautionary figure. The confident, credential-free, high-pressure register he speaks in is a parody of how real financial fraud actually sounds. He is wrong about essentially everything, on purpose, and the joke is at his expense — not at the expense of anyone who has lost money to people like him.
- Data collection
- This is a static website. It sets no cookies, runs no analytics, and collects no personal information. It does load a web font from Google Fonts, which means your browser makes a request to Google's servers when the page loads.
- Financial figures
- All numbers, tickers, prices, and percentages shown anywhere on this site are fabricated props. They do not correspond to any real instrument or market and are not quoted from any data source.
- Quotations & testimonials
- Every quotation attributed to a client, relative, colleague, or anonymous commenter is fictional dialogue written for this project. No real person said any of it.
- Named third parties
- Where the writing refers to well-known real people or real companies, it does so only in passing, as a fictional character's aside. No affiliation, endorsement, or factual claim about them is intended.
Contact the firm
The Managing Partner maintains an open line to serious operators only. The line is currently off until the fifteenth. The switchboard is a phone in a drawer. The reception desk is the top of a chest freezer. Correspondence is welcomed, reviewed personally, and answered at length, often at greater length than the original message.
Office of the Managing Partner
- Principal facility
- GarageTwo-car, one door
- Telephone
- OffUntil the 15th
- Network
- PartneredNeighbor unaware
- Board liaison
- BarnabyCat, abstains
None of the above is a real address, phone line, or contact method. There is no way to contact Rugpull Capital Partners because Rugpull Capital Partners does not exist.